September 7, 2009
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Mehz
I’ve been feeling very antisocial the past couple weeks – so much so that even interactions through the internet are more than I’d like. I’m probably a tad depressed. This is my professional opinion based on not wanting to get out of bed in the morning and generally hating all activities I enjoyed only two weeks ago. Not to worry though – I’ve been through this forest enough times it might as well be named after me.
Poverty and obligations are the only thing keeping me from locking myself in my room only to emerge when I feel less like a grumpy and sullen bear. The kind of bear that doesn’t roar at you for awakening him or stumbling into his territory but rather just stares at you sadly – which is your chance to make tracks before his moody contemplation turns to thoughts of mauling and how satisfying an angry outburst would be in the short term.
I’ve been playing a lot of Lord of the Rings: Online lately. The repetition of “kill monster, loot corpse, buy better gear, repeat” has been a nice distraction from adult pursuits like yelling and/or arguing with people over this or that. It’s much easier for me to maintain a level of anger that energizes rather than drains when I’m acting as an advocate for someone but when it’s my own ass on the line I tend to tire of the arguing and just look sick dealing with it.
If this keeps up, she’s going to cap your asses on my behalf – promise.
Comments (10)
I’m cute, right? Put your head in my mouth.
It’s okay Mr. Bear, I’ll proofread your novel.
I know the feeling. Feel better soon.
Maybe you’re pregnant.
Seriously though, I know that YOU know what the signs are when things are really All Kinds of Not Right, but take care of yourself. At least make sure you’re eating right. Junking out all the time never did anything good for anyone’s mood.
In the words of the Bible, “It came to pass.” I don’t know you very well, just stumbled on your site and liked you POV and humor. But I have been way, way down before. And sometimes it just takes time. For me, it hurt so bad I really wanted to just cease to exist (which for a Bible believer is very different than dead). Had it not been for the fact that I was all my kids had, I might have tried something. And even then I really considered it. Try to keep in mind that our joy is our strength, and when we loose that we become so vulnerable. What helped me is to keep remembering how blessed I really am. In America we tend to look at all those who seem to have so much more than we, and forget the two thirds of the population of earth that have less. Since I don’t know what’s going on for you, I hope my words don’t just piss you off or irk you to death. It is just that my heart goes out to you because I know what it is to hurt so bad you just wish the world would go away for a while. If I could make you feel better somehow I would. You will be in my prayers.
~Samantha
Are we secretly the same person, because sometimes I have begun wondering about that.
i think i secretly like you.
i guess its not a secret no more.
I’ve always been antisocial. Since the beginning, I developed interesting mainly in activities that don’t require too much movement nor trips outside–unless its for dinner.
No worries though; I’m sure you’ll be back to your own self soon.
You’ll get back. Give it a bit of time.
GET OFF OF HULU AND GET YOUR ASS BACK ON XANGA. I NEED MORE ENTERTAINMENT!
and i’m sure you readers miss you too. *pleading pizza girl eyes*
I’ve been wanting to play LOTR online since I first saw it, but if thats all it entails, then, eh. Maybe not so much now.