I’m not big on traveling and I dislike situations where I’m obligated to be somewhere for long periods of time. BUT a close friend of mine is getting married this weekend so I’m kicking my comfort zone in the teeth, putting on a suit, and being an usher at her wedding. There’s a three to four hour drive involved so I’ll have ample opportunity to make myself sick of my music collection. I’m thinking I’ll listen to a whole mess of METAL at deafening volume. As I will be driving through central IL I’ll have plenty of corn and soybeans to stare at and not much else.

CORN.

Maybe I should listen to Korn whilst driving through all that corn but that would stink of a hipster’s sort of irony so I’ll avoid that.

I’ve had difficulty blogging lately as I’ve had little to say of a personal nature and although very annoyed by the socio-political situation the world over, I’m overwhelmed by the level of “suck and stupid” covered in the news. Instead of covering Obama’s speeches or letting the pundits gab, just execute a puppy at 5am in the morning and replay that video over and over until noon when you snap the neck of a kitten. It’ll be just as depressing but I’ll feel less like our species is so stupid as to deserve extermination.

That being said, there are plenty of videos of animals in their infancy being killed by heartless monsters already. Women in high-heels crushing kittens, puppies, and bunnies…or shoving small creatures into microwaves. Maybe I will still with Obama – at least he only makes me facepalm in frustration and disbelief. He doesn’t inspire “take a flamethrower to it and then nuke the site from orbit”-type rage.

The only crushing that should involve puppies is that of your heart by their epic SQUEEEEEE-ness. And when cats are kittens they’re usually a) at their cutest and b) at their least irritatingly quirky. My ex-roommate’s kitten would sit on my head and play with my hair before stumbling off into my lap. If cuteness were weaponry that kitten would have been a vorpal sword in a zombie convention (for you non-nerds, a vorpal sword always decapitates).

The Department of Justice is doing its best to become the Department of Irony by continuously placing politics ahead of justice. Does the President really need another group of ass-kissing stooges? Sure, it’d be a problem if the DOJ did its job seeing as Obama loves his shenanigans but couldn’t he just disband the DOJ? They don’t enforce the laws and they liberally apply their finger to the Scales of Justice after stripping off her blindfold and pointing out who gets what.

Your race matters to the DOJ. Your politics matter to the DOJ. Your religion matters to the DOJ. Whether you’ve committed a crime – not so much. Are you black? Free pass. Do you support the Democratic party? If yes, free pass. Are you Muslim? Free pass. If you happen to be a white Republican Christian don’t bother with the DOJ – go directly to Janet Napalitano to be labeled a potential domestic terrorist and then see any news outlet (save Fox) and/or the White House to be labeled a racist homophobe who rapes kittens while punching holes in the ozone layer with your prayers to a science-hating God.

People of America, hear my offer: I promise to be just as incompetent as Eric Holder but I’ll do his job for half the pay. I swear the economy will continue to suck if you replace Ben Bernanke with me but I’ll do his job for a quarter of what you’re paying him. If you don’t mind a little vomit, I will take over Robert Gibb’s position for FREE. I will have to pause every few minutes to throw up while I read the talking points but I’m not being paid so that’s still a steal. You can replace most of Congress with me and I promise to only pocket 10% of the kickbacks they do. I will warn you that being young and unjaded, I might actually listen to my constituents rather than ignore and belittle them.

Honestly, Osama, does the West need your help dying? We’re so politically correct that we’ll soon be chopping off our own hands and heads for offending your sensibilities – gosh we suck! It’s okay to treat women like sexual objects or baby-making punching bags but damn if we’ll let them take pride and joy in motherhood – that’s simply barbaric! We need to be more proactive in erasing Christianity from society so that the rest of the world won’t think we’re antireligious bigots. Why don’t we just give them the site of that Orthodox church destroyed on 9/11? It’s not like we’re ever going to approve its rebuilding. And lest we forget, America was founded racists who raped their way to riches – bad us!

I helped my sister move from Chicago to St. Louis.

My graphics card decided to burn out, turning my computer into a $3000 dollar paperweight. $350 dollars of repairs and 6 hours of swearing later the paperweight became a computer again.

Picked up my sister at the airport and then drove her to another airport because she flew to Dallas, and then to Chicago, and then to St. Louis after missing a flight. Blarg.

Wrote a 17 page research paper with 12 resources and then threw together a presentation – all of that in 6 hours. I got an A. I hadn’t planned on rushing it but my computer decided the day before the paper was due sooooo…I now know I can write an excellent paper, dig up 12 sources, and create a presentation in a quarter of a day if needs be. That being said, I don’t want to do that again.

I finished my research project for my master’s thesis. There should be a new major available for students to pursue at my Alma Mater in the Fall of 2011 and possibly a Masters in the same area a few years later.

I’ve nearly finished the course-work for my second masters and the closest I’ve come to getting a job was as a grounds-keeper for my church. Maybe I’ll pursue a degree in rocket science so I can perform an outreach to Islamic communities whilst I roam the streets as a homeless man.

Read an article on a book I’m thinking about picking up – the premise is that Islam was originally a Christian heresy that was distorted to unite people behind Muhammed. Which would make Muhammed a Middle Eastern Joseph Smith…or Joseph Smith an American Muhammed.

I also read an article about how Obama and his administration have been largely silent on human rights issues so countries like China and Iran to begin flagrantly abusing their people. Say what you will about Bush, people knew the U.S. didn’t allow mistreatment by anyone but US. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

I’m thinking he’ll be a one term president unless we can’t find anyone less incompetent to run for office. Gosh, let the Donkey run and people would probably choose it over him. The donkey can’t play golf, stay stupid things, and won’t play the race card because nobody is racist against donkeys. It’d command more respect internationally because who knows when it’d kick that red button?

Russian, Iran, and China already thinks we’re dumbasses so why not put a real ass in office? The government will be cheaper to run when this ass puts all of its jackass friends in high office.

So yeah, I’ve been busy, busy, busy.

Sadness – my little sister is moving to St. Louis this coming Sunday. She and her little dog, Kiwi (who has become the mascot of the household), will be out of our lives. She’s going to school in that area. Her boyfriend also happens to live in that area (coincidence? Probably not, lol). If she really hits it off with him she may never return (save on the holidays). It is a time of transition, of change, and, as usual, I am averse to it. I swear I fight with her far more often than my parents (on occassion as opposed to next to never) but she is far more accepting of me. The understanding that siblings share, yes?

For ye jobless saps who were pressured into college and now are stuck with family, know that this is a pattern. The early portions of Gen X had this problem. For those of you not born between 1980 and 1990, rejoice that you’ll likely see a recovered economy by the time you leave college. Not only that, but you’ll likely be in high demand. For those of you without jobs now, sorry – you’re hosed. Bwahahahaha!

It’s raining today. I love rainy days. I think I’ll sit on the porch with a fat cigar and listen to the rain fall. After that I’ll have a glass of whiskey and then finish my homework. It’s 7am now and I’ve already done 3 hours of it so I’m almost done – the joys of boredom. Lately I’ve had no interest in anything “fun” so I’ve had no temptation to avoid my homework and other assignments. I need money to pursue something new but as that isn’t happening I’m taking advantage of my lack of distractions and concentrating on job searching along with school.

Yeah, I caved. I’ll pick up that job to get my parents off my back and mop up the pain of juggling my chainsaw-laden schedule with money and the music it will purchase. Music is cheap therapy and it’s easier to kick that drugs, alcohol, and antidepressants (which have the withdrawel of cocaine, believe it or not. You can DIE from antidepressant withdrawel).

I’m actually looking forward to the job I might be picking up. It won’t involve ANY thinking and WILL involve a lot of physical work. Cathartic exercise and a workout and I’ll get paid for it – I guess that makes up for all the counseling I do pro bono. Physical work lowers my stress so I’m seeing nothing but “win” in this.

I’m in a writing mood but I tend to keep my blogs shorter because most people don’t have the attention span for more than a few paragraphs…Eh, maybe I’ll post again later. I go two weeks with nothing much to say and now I just want to blog and blog and blog. Thanks, brain.

My father says I’m in a rut. To my family, “in a rut” consists of not being constantly busy, not working 14 hour days. Grad school? Is that all you’re doing? Lazy bastard. Grad school and a full time job? That’s okay if you’re crippled or sickly. Grad school, full time job, and raising a family? Now you’re getting closer to the mark. Grad school, full time job, raising a family, and a part time job volunteering in some capacity? That’s par. You can never be ahead of the curve or exemplary in my family. You can only be “good enough.”

Just about everything I enjoy doing is considered a waste of time by them. My work as a counselor is approved but it’s not considered “work” because I’m not being paid for it. My studies for my second grad degree are more like a hobby to them.

So I’m a tad frustrated, as is likely apparent. This is nothing new, they’ve always expected a lot. There is nothing that I can do that is impressive, only what is expected or what is lacking. I guess that’s what I get for being born to robots from the future. Somehow they managed to have a human child. Maybe if I cure cancer, AIDS, and blindness I’ll stop getting the “stink-eye” whenever I play video games.

Eh, who the hell am I kidding? I’m always going to get the stink-eye for gaming. My parents do an amazing impression of the overbearing, success-driven parents my Asian friends complain about. One of my classmates is a transfer from China. She holds a very similar view of work and money to my own – the purpose of both is to purchase you the free time to pursue what you’re passionate about. Neither of us cares about money; we’d rather spend our time developing relationships and enriching the lives of others.

Bah, why couldn’t I have been born enjoying things that make money?!