March 7, 2008

• Friday Night

  It's Friday night and you all know what that means - I'm sober, I'm single, and I'm at work. I don't really mind that despite how it might sound - I like a quiet Friday night. And recently there hasn't been anything in theatres that I've been dying to see so any potential draws for me to go anywhere are...missing. I'm not dating and I've got beer at the apartment so there's not much point in leaving once I get back from work. I do need to give a buddy a call this week so we can hang out. I failed to mention this in my last post but it's Spring Break at my college. This is my sixth Spring Break since entering college (I will add that I'm a grad student and not just sloooooow) and I've only been somewhere warm once...with my dad...which was awesome.

  I've eaten gator several times this year - breaded it tastes like chicken and jerked it tastes like beef jerky. Gator is the every-meat. And it has the added draw of knowing you're eating a predator that could easily kill you. Mmmmm - it tastes like death. Speaking of death, I frequently get odd looks for my email/AIM screen name - off duty death. I recently wrote a paper about what created that screen name - a dream. We had to do a dream interpretation for psychoanalysis so I dusted that one off and wrote it in five minutes - I'm a paper ninja.

  But back to the dream - I was THE death. Bones, black robe, and scythe - and it was my day off. It was sunny out and I wandered into the stands at a baseball game. Growing bored, soccer being my spectator sport of choice, I left and broke into someone's home. Going to their freezer, I popped it open and began eating their vanilla ice cream. When I heard them return home I quickly hid the evidence of my visit and ran off. That's the long and short of it - I'm an incarnation of death and I will steal your ice cream.

  Fear me, mortals, for I am an undying being with a taste for sugar...and hugs. FEAR MY DEATHLY HUGS *hugs you while eating ice cream behind your back*. Yes, that is the origin of my ghastly address - I'm obviously going to flip out and kill people. Right after I sacrifice a goat to Satan, dance, and look at a girl. I'm not bitter at fundamentalists, noooooo. Not bitter at all...(hatarz)

  Things in my life come in waves and recently the wave has been "relationships" - many of them taking the course that Dane Cook envisioned when he coined "relationshit." I, fortunately, am on the outside looking in at these catastrophies but having a functional heart and sense of empathy I can't help but be disturbed by the tsunami-de-shitfan rocking the coast of young adulthood. The people who aren't dating are miserable, the people who are dating are miserable, the people who are married are miserable, the people who are teh sexorz aren't happy, and the people who aren't receiving horizontal dance lessons from Mr. Freaking are frustrated - nobody is content.

  I'm beginning to wonder if the secret to happiness is belief in Jesus + getting hit by a bus - escape from the annoyances of flesh. Flesh isn't all drawbacks, mind you - a Coke over cubes along with a good meal, a long, hot shower on a cold day, and/or a nap on a sunny afternoon are all superb. Have you ever stretched in the morning and it just feels right? Those are the kind of things that keep life appealing, simple pleasures that remind us that life isn't all suck, but sometimes it's hard to see those things when life is busy smacking you in the face with a rotting rock-bass. Let's see, what stimulus shall I latch onto - getting smacked in the face with a stinky, sticky fish OR the quiet whispers of a cup of Joe at sunrise?

  And now for a bit of madness

  http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c39218838cfd011884ab85810025

  http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c39218838cfd0118849b53b10003

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM - this will probably make your day.

  • 9:06 pm
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