March 14, 2008
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I'm in your Poland, stealing your countries.
Today I annexed our computer room - I invaded at noon and was bunkered in by four. I quickly commanded the flying monkeys to reinforce our position and soon my command center, my bed, was monkey-lifted to our position. When my manpanzee roommates discovered my move they said naught - they were too busy squealing as poo rained from the skies. My monkeys made a mess of things but my Whip O Cleaning soon had everyone working like wage-slaves at Christmas.
I do own a whip, btw. I use it for whipping fools - and the naughty. *cracks the whip* Have you been naughty? Don't expect me to kiss your skin with this bad-boy - I've got anger issues. I look at it as a motivational tool - get motivated or I'll redden your ass and add welts to your back. Honestly, take a look at the movies - who knows how to use a whip proper-like? White guys. It doesn't matter if they're whipping slaves alla Rome or slaves alla pre-Civil War or whipping women in black leather - white guys whip it good. And the media certainly couldn't have it wrong - even the Egyptian whipping the Jews were white. That sounds realistic to me. All of my retail bosses were white, except for the asian one, and they whipped me (she didn't - she just kept asking "why you so lazy?")
Yes, I took a flamethrower to everything in my path that stank of the taint of Chaos - I brought order to our apartment. I enslaved my roommates and restored the greatness of MY domain - tomorrow I'll work on theirs. I took a nap during the middle of the invasion and my monkey and manpanzees slacked off - grrrr.
The good news - my sister came by today! We chatted about all sorts of things - alcohol, sex, violence, religion, and politics! We covered all the bases! So you might say that all your base is belong to us! AND IT IS, FOOLS - someone set us up the bomb. It was good to see her and have a conversation with an adult. She also brought me goodies - the book "On Combat." It'll go great with my book "On Killing" - I'm researching the psychological toll that combat takes on soldiers. On Killing has been pretty interesting so far so I'm curious what On Combat will reveal. I'm also hoping to pick up Shook Over Hell which is about PTSD rates during the Civil War.
Well, I'm heading off to bed because I've got lunch and taxing crunching with my dad tomorrow! Lunch: Good. Taxes: Teh suckzors
Comments (14)
Look at the tease with the whip! There's a spot on the tax forms where you can declare illegal earnings. i think that's a trick.
Bring your manpanzees and whip over here. My house could use a good cleaning.
I can't talk to my brother about politics anymore, we are on two totally different sides and he gets angry. Sad.
You're the only person I know who can talk about war in the context of psychological trauma.
Seriously though, you should write about that some time. My husband and I have been talking a lot lately about whether or nor I'd be able to kill someone in a war-like situation should I be deployed, it's something I think most people don't think about but, when you're forced to consider it, is pretty unnerving -- like being forced to think about old people doing it.
@GermanWrench - lol - old people sex. The current training regiment of the U.S. military has increased the "fire" to "non-fire" to 9 to 1. 2 to 4% of people actually enjoy killing - they're listed as functionally psychotic. My reading so far has suggested that firing a gun at someone is more traumatic than being bombed. The bright side is that PTSD rates have remained consistent for as far back as we have data (the Civil War) and that we've got better tools for debriefing soldiers so they can leave combat body and mind.
I've always thought I'd be capable of killing someone under certain circumstances but I honestly wonder whether I'd be capable of taking a human life. It's a heavy responsibility - thank you for serving your country
@dropsofjupiterihh - the manpanzees are terrible at cleaning - I'm sure I could whip-up a few people willing to help though
@qccan - A snake that can read, talk, and do taxes - this explains why that guy in India got hitched to a snake.
@JJ_Ames -
I've only known one guy who's taken a life (that I'm aware of); an armed man broke into his house and was about to enter his young daughter's room, at which time he shot the man, who died shortly thereafter. Even though any red-blooded American would agree that he was completely justified, it's still something he had a very hard time dealing with. So the whole question is pretty disturbing to me -- even though I have zero moral objections to taking a life in self-defense or the defense of others, and in some instances I think it would be morally reprehensible NOT to.
I'd be interested to see the actual literature done on the subject, and what's available for people in that position -- both to prepare for it and to recover from it.
@GermanWrench - I'd recommend reading "On Combat" and "On Killing." They were written for a general audience so they shouldn't require technical knowledge. I don't have the author's name on hand but I could get that for you as well. I'd agree that there are circumstances when not killing would be the immoral thing. God commanded the Israelites to kill entire people groups AND their livestock so I believe that acts of violence can be "worshipful" in some extreme circumstances. But I think that even then it's a heavy burden to carry - and I think that in accepting that weight the person further worships God.
Hahaha @ the whole whipping paragraph. That was the craziest thing ever. But what if somebody liked being punished that way? Then what? They'd do everything to make you mad until you just snapped. That would be horrible, you'd certainly be labelled insane, then.
RYC: Oh we destroyed her. Actually, it was mostly luck. Because I, who controlled Frederic, almost died - but for some reason, she stopped attacking me before her turn ran completely out. I had maybe 1/4 of my life left, and Sabrina was saying to heal. I was like "No, it's cool, we've got one Angel Trumpet left [they revive you], she's almost dead, and I can use coup de jarnac and get her life that much lower," I was actually hoping she would die because one angel trumpet for three people isn't good. So, I used the attack and it killed her. We celebrated.
I'd make a horrible real sailor, by the way. Because I cannot swim.
Way to go all Wicked Witch of the West on us.
@hum__hallelujah - nice! Nothing like snapping up victory from the jaws of defeat! It's really sad that you can't swim - I love swimming! When I was about ten I went through most of the training you can get before qualifying for lifeguard - we got to jump into pools with all of our clothes on!
@logicalemu - you're just jealous that I've got a barrel full of flying monkeys. They bring me beer. AND NEVER ENDING FRUSTRATION - STOP THROWING CRAP, YOU DAMNED MONKEYS!
@JJ_Ames - Fuck, I am jealous. Monkeys that bring you beer? Damn you, lucky bastard.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
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