August 20, 2009
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Bones
Blogs about how much Christians suck seem popular so I figure I'll try my hand at it. Christians suck for not being flawless avatars of a perfect deity. Christians suck for valuing the lives of the unborn and orphans. They also suck for holding the Western world together when Rome collapsed - fuck them for that. They especially suck for converting the barbarians from the raping, pillaging, and human sacrifice. They suck for ruining so many geniuses with "religion" when they might have just avoided studying "the glorious creation of their God." Screw their contributions to science - Newton and Kepler were losers.
I could go on but listing all of the reasons Christians suck is tiring. Well, maybe one more for the road - they suck for believing there's a right and wrong. Superstitious assholes.
On that note, fuck Scotland. I hope that doesn't strike you as terribly random. I hope that strikes you as a very accurate assessment of how much Scotland deserves to be fucked - or at very least their "justice" system. Over two hundred people blown to tiny bits and Jerkland lets the bomber off the hook after only 8 years in prison because he's got cancer. Waaaaaah, the mass murderer has cancer - he deserves to go home to a hero's welcome so he can be with his family when he dies. To celebrate his release, let's go piss on a couple hundred graves and then defecate on the gravestones before looking up their relatives so we can spit in their face.
Speaking of the relatives, my dad had to call the wife of one of the victims to explain why her husband wouldn't be joining their family for Christmas. Did I forget to mention the plane was bombed only four days prior to Christmas? That's right - Jerkland freed a guy who'd blow Santa into chunks for being a "Christian infidel."
Fuck you, Scotland.
This is probably Christianty's doing. Their "evil" God probably gave that guy cancer so he'd be freed - He conspires with terrorists! That explains why all those terrorist monsters are harassing our savior-king Obamawesomecool the 1st. Unfortunately we'll only be able to give his title to the next king because his Ubersexy-McCoolness has no sons and his daughters aren't allowed to reproduce for fear that they'd conceive anything - especially not more of Obama pure and superior race. Good thing for us - that much manly perfection would turn the whole United States gay...well, 'cept for the women.
The United Haram of Obama King the II!
But doesn't Obama claim to be Christian? Doesn't that automatically mean he is evil incarnate? Of course not! He's is perfection incarnate - look at his big smile! His not-white skin repels critique and his way with words makes English and your brain his plaything!
Bones build the ladder of success.
Comments (4)
we should make tshirts that say, "Feck you, Scotland."
Yeah. This was an atypical action for Scotland. I'd like to know WTF got into their heads on releasing this bastard.
This was like "watching" the Daily Show with Jon Stewart: fun yet insightful. Hope that doesn't offend you...
First off, Jon Stewart is an entertainer, not a newscaster. Anyone who thinks otherwise (like maybe Girl Without Pity) is deceived.
Second, while I also think your writing above was witty, I could have done without the language. Don't mean to preach, but I wonder how that honors Christ.
Third, I know personally only about 1,000 people who are more articulate than BHO. I'm so tired of the media trying to ram that he's-the-most-articulate-president-we've-ever-had garbage down our throats. While George Bush stumbled over the English language periodically, he at least didn't talk in circles and say NOTHING.
JJ, I hope you take my second comment in the spirit it was intended. I appreciate your wit and thoughtfulness. Blessings to you.
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