August 30, 2010
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Kittehs and Korn
I’m not big on traveling and I dislike situations where I’m obligated to be somewhere for long periods of time. BUT a close friend of mine is getting married this weekend so I’m kicking my comfort zone in the teeth, putting on a suit, and being an usher at her wedding. There’s a three to four hour drive involved so I’ll have ample opportunity to make myself sick of my music collection. I’m thinking I’ll listen to a whole mess of METAL at deafening volume. As I will be driving through central IL I’ll have plenty of corn and soybeans to stare at and not much else.
CORN.
Maybe I should listen to Korn whilst driving through all that corn but that would stink of a hipster’s sort of irony so I’ll avoid that.
I’ve had difficulty blogging lately as I’ve had little to say of a personal nature and although very annoyed by the socio-political situation the world over, I’m overwhelmed by the level of “suck and stupid” covered in the news. Instead of covering Obama’s speeches or letting the pundits gab, just execute a puppy at 5am in the morning and replay that video over and over until noon when you snap the neck of a kitten. It’ll be just as depressing but I’ll feel less like our species is so stupid as to deserve extermination.
That being said, there are plenty of videos of animals in their infancy being killed by heartless monsters already. Women in high-heels crushing kittens, puppies, and bunnies…or shoving small creatures into microwaves. Maybe I will still with Obama – at least he only makes me facepalm in frustration and disbelief. He doesn’t inspire “take a flamethrower to it and then nuke the site from orbit”-type rage.
The only crushing that should involve puppies is that of your heart by their epic SQUEEEEEE-ness. And when cats are kittens they’re usually a) at their cutest and b) at their least irritatingly quirky. My ex-roommate’s kitten would sit on my head and play with my hair before stumbling off into my lap. If cuteness were weaponry that kitten would have been a vorpal sword in a zombie convention (for you non-nerds, a vorpal sword always decapitates).
Comments (7)
Now see…I’m a nerd…I’m just not THAT kind of nerd…thanks for the clarification.
I don’t think Korn would be a hipster’s sort of irony. Speaking of hipsters, totally saw Sergio on Tosh.O today…not sure where the footage was from; I think it was just something he made with him and his friends. Pretty funny though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SItFvB0Upb8. Again, I LOVE the Infomania boys. I would marry them all, even the gay one. They could be my hilarious harem.
Driving through central Illinois is, indeed, a mind-numbing experience.
Judging by your blogs, you’re veering into a mentally unhealthy cycle. “You see the world you describe.” There are good things going on all around you. Be part of them.
I can’t edit, so I’ll add – you’re wickedly funny when you get on a good, angry rant. However, I’m willing to sacrifice my own entertainment if it will mean restoring your faith in your fellow man
@efarns - you’re very kind to say that. I know that not all people are heartless monsters and/or fools. There are just some who have a lot of power and all the sense of a goldfish making life harder for people whom life hasn’t been as kind to.
Cheers to a brighter future!
@efarns - as for the negative cycle of my blogs, I tend to blow off steam here. It is seldom that I allow a particular event to sour my mood more than a day but yesterday’s news cycle was full of people who, when they speak, piss me off greatly. I think of all the people their foolishness is harming and I wish it wasn’t so. God save us from our own stupidity.
But I do appreciate your concern – thank you!
I like corns and kittens, although they don’t go well together. I bin my corns but not the kittens.
Yes, this is senseless. I go now.
@XndraXstz - a lady in Britain binned someone’s kittens and got in big trouble! She should be more careful and not confuse corns with kittens. If it mews I know it’s a kittens – or a very mischievious corns!