September 13, 2010
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6 Reasons Christians will never take over anything
I have two headaches – one is physical and the other one is mental. I’ve been doing a lot of face-palming lately because the internet is filled with fail. I’m reminded of an argument I had on Facebook with a fellow who believed that Abraham Lincoln was an evil tyrant who started the Civil War. After crying for a while (on the inside), I explained to him why his college history professor should be fired and then fed to wild dogs. It took me several convos to undo all the damage that idiot professor did and each of them was a fight.
My current face-palm involves the idea that Christians are trying to take over America…sorry, I had to pinch the bridge of my nose while wincing for a moment. This idea is utter nonsense. Here are some reasons in nice, digestable servings.
1. Christians have a hard time agreeing on anything. If you actually bother to go to church, you will often here jokes about arguments over communion cups, how to say the Lord’s Prayer properly, and other things that are silly beyond belief. We can’t agree on the freaking communion cups and you think we’re going to take over America? Moving to actual reasons for disagreement, there are some Christians who question the deity and/or importance of Jesus Christ – which is to say they aren’t Christians by any sense because Christianity requires Christ.
2. Christians can’t agree on anything (part II!). Christians will never establish a theocracy in America because they can’t agree on what right doctrine is. Besides the whole “Catholic vs. Protestant” divide you’ve also got the “Protestant vs. Protestant vs. Protestant…” divide – which one becomes the ruling body of America? People will LEAVE their church over small dogmatic differences (including not liking the music) and yet we’re supposedly uniting to subjugate all non-Christians? Sure, and kittens are secretly plotting to kill all the puppies for stealing their squee (cuteness, for those of you who don’t speak “interwebz”).
3. Christians left Europe to get away from being told how to worship. Only liberals believe they can take a failed system and create something better with it. OH SNAP. We created something new and we’d like to keep it – hence or dismay when politicians and judges describe the Constitution as an out of date or out of touch document.
4. Christians, if they have half a brain, HATE large governments. The bigger the government, the more crap it can (and will) control. Conservatives HATE large governments for the same reason – and the taxes.
5. Theocracies are expensive and Christians enjoy keeping their wages. What is the #1 issue on most American minds? If you answered “The economy, stupid” then you’re correct! It’s been a while since God rained mana down from heaven so even we, His chosen people, have to work for a living. And it’s really hard to make a living these days. Big government, big spending, and high taxes – do any of these sound like Christian moral issue?
6. It’s a democratic system – you vote for what you believe in. Christians aren’t trying to take over the country, they’re simply exercising their right to vote. The reason they vote for other Christians (typically) is because they share common beliefs – small government, low taxes, and the protection of various freedoms. They’re not doing anything evil or conspiritorial, they’re simply doing the same thing every other person in the United States does – vote for the guy/gal they think will support their beliefs.
So for those of you worried about Christians taking over things…STOP IT. Obama, Pelosi, and Reed will combine their power to form Captain Planet before even 1% of Christians would support a theocracy. And speaking on behalf of Christians everywhere, we will kick that 1% in the balls/ovaries until the stupid falls out of their ears.
And honestly, you’re afraid of Christians but not of Muslims? Your logic has holes Jihadis could fly planes full of screaming victims through. When Christians started wearing explosive vests to church, the market, or hospitals then we’ll revisit this issue. Till then, I will continue to face-palm as I witness your fail.
Comments (8)
That boy on Facebook must go to Boston College. This post is full of awesomeness.
Just a side note, and I’m not being argumentative here but I’m not sure if you’ve seen the “Jesus Camp” documentary, if you haven’t then you definitely should. I’m not sure if thats the name of it but its a documentary on this camp full of extremist christians, and the camp counselor talks about how she envies the people who would blow themselves up for islam and wishes she had some kids, yes kids, who would be as dedicated as that.
its pretty fucked up.
So true. So depressing.
I feel compelled to respond to this, ot that I think Christians are taking over anything:
1&2 are readily dispatched as practical responses since inner struggles by-and-large tend to disappear when unified against an outgroup.
3) People left Europe for a variety of reasons and yes, Christians left because of the desire to freely practice their faith. This nevertheless says nothing about the modern Christian mainstream today as the puritan tradition of faith is not as widely represented in our society today.
4) This is a political statement which has nothing to do with theology or Christian motives. There are plenty of Christian liberals more educated than either of us.
5) Once again, a political statement which only holds water within the context of the marriage between the Conservative base and the Christian right. Exactly none of that sounds like anything resembling Christian moral issues.
6) It’s a Republic, and it’s not that simple, and you know it. With a ludicrous incumbency rate in congress (often in spite of approval ratings), the mitigating factor of this being a democratic society is not as great as you make it sound here. Religious Conservatives tend to cling to issues that make us a mite touchy, like taking the country back for god, and holding back medical advancements in the interests of piety, which has no place in the public realm. Like minded people tend to gather for and when in power. You know this is true, and you’re just as reticent to see Liberals in power as we are to see Christian conservatives.
As for fearing a Muslim takeover, don’t be ridiculous. Muslims are not ubiquitous in the United States, Christians are, so yes the way they are going to be reacted to and treated is going to be different. As minuscule as the Muslim population is in the U.S., the extremist population is even smaller than that. There have been Christian domestic terrorists, but not hay was made out of their being Christians because it’s so common for there to be Christians in the U.S. that nobody saw it as being relevant.
I will face-palm along with you, my friend.
@bombshellman90 - I’ve seen snippets of it. They make me face-palm too.
@Babylons_Crowing - first off, I’m not at all afraid of Muslims taking over America. Just like the establishment of a Christian theocracy, a Muslim takeover of America will never happen. Hay has been made out of Christian domestic terrorists. The Hutarite group was constantly mentioned along with Christianity. Meanwhile, the Ft. Hood shooter’s Muslim faith was downplayed and “don’t jump to conclusions about Islam” was the mantra.
1 and 2 are still relevant because the vast majority of Christians have no interest in a theocracy. To propose that they are will draw nothing but laughter from them.
3 cannot be written of either. Christians, typically conservative, value their heritage. Puritans made up only a portion of Christians and the movement away from their way of thinking is not surprising – Christian denominations are rarely static. Granted, I am from an educated background so I typically associate with educated Christian but those I know are well aware of American history and why our freedoms are precious. Any Christian worth their salt is also aware that in the modern world the United States is a safe haven. In many nations Christians are second class citizens or worse.
The point of 4 and 5 is that they are political. The issues in this country receiving the most attention from Christians aren’t religious but political in nature.
With 6 I boiled it down to how people think it works. They vote for the person they think will represent them best. Part of the reason the Tea Party movement is around is because the Republican party spent the last decade pissing all over Conservatives and expecting to be voted back in anyway. Moral issues are important to the public realm.
Of course I’m reticent to see Liberals in power – I think the ones who are typically elected are little more than Communists that give lip-service to God and country to get elected. They pass laws and give funding to causes that go against Christian values – why would I like them?
@Megan@revelife - I think he went to a school in the south. Some of them are still waiting for the south to rise again *facepalm*